i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize