Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
