he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
