Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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