and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize