Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
