Nicole vs. Life
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
