i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
