Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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