I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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