well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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