Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
