remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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