Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I stole a fireplace last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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