i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
