My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
