you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
