O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
