Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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