I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
