so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
