Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
