Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
