dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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