I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
