FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So much rum. So many feels.
They have beer where we have blood.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
