i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
