Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
