I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
