...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
