I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
