Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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