If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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