just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want nice things and good sex
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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