So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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