why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The beer is more important than you right now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
this is an emotional support booty call
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
