But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
