so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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