awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
