I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
