forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
