I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.