As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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