I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi