Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃