i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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