Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We had sex on a dog bed..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name