I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.