a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.