She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
