Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
