Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
