so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
