At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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