We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
