i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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