I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
