if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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