so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
