Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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