hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
