i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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