Me too!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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