and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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